"All you motherfuckers are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers!!! We're gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks who're makin' the movie, we're gonna make them eat our shit, then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which was made up of our shit that we made em eat. And then all you motherfucks are next.
Love, Jay and Silent Bob."
"What if one night me and Lunchbox are out mackin' some chick and she's like 'Oooooooh, I wanna suck youse guys dicks off! What're your names?" And we're like "Jay and Silent Bob. Recognize." And then she's like, "Oh, I read on the internet that fuckin, youse guys are a coupla little fucks." And then she goes and sucks two other guys dicks instead. Well, fuck that. We gotta put a stop to this shit before it ruins our good names."